Don't fuck with our equipment. Seriously you dipshit mouthbreathing Bojangles-eating mayonaise-guzzling goat-groping bootlicking fuckstick, what makes you think it is cool to come screw around with our piece of equipment to show it off to another lab who might be remotely interested in one. Thanks for not getting permission to even touch my fucking hallowed machine. I don't know if you let Helen Keller run her hands over the controls because every setting is out of whack. You left a sample on my goddamn machine which dried up and took me half a fucking hour of my time to clean up when I should have just been able to oh I don't know, maybe walk up to it and use it. Thanks for delaying me from generating my hot trailerpark trainsmoke hottie sexy data that I could show to the boss for lab meeting and instead look like a dataless douche left holding an empty bag. I had half a mind to call your piece of shit substandard fucking equipment selling dumpsterbaby ass to come in and clean up your mess, but lets face it you can't deign to return phone calls and it takes for fucking ever to get a response from you.
Ahhhh, I gotta go get a fucking beer before I blow a blood vessel in my eye.