Creepy Vendor

Mar 23 2011 Published by under Vendor

So once in a while we have this scuzzy fucking vendor rep that will show up and troll the halls from time to time.  This guy is a creepy mcfunster who has this leering gaze that makes all the females in the building tense up and freak out.  Hell every time a guy in our lab sees this moosebag, you can tell his asshole is probably involuntarily clenching in discomfort and he scurries off to get away before the vendor sees him.  Thanks a fucking lot.  I'm tied to the bench doing some shit so that means I've got to stand there while Shasta FuckinMcNasty chats me up.

What makes matters worse is he is picking his nose as he is coming down the hallway and I can see it.  He rounds the corner to my bench and I turn to look at him just as he adjusts his dick in his pants.  So gross, I'm about to puke.  But the worst part is, while he is trying to shoot the shit with me and get me to buy his stuff for which I have no additional need, the dude is digging in his ass.  I mean this motherfucker was going to China.  I hope he had a permit because homeboy was digging deep and hard, it was so bad he was standing on his tipey toes trying to find some buried treasure.

Thank goodness I had gloves on and didn't have to shake his hand.  And if you guys want to kick in some money for therapy that cool, its gonna be expensive to get this visual out of my head.

12 responses so far

  • We have a sign on our lab door "No Unsolicited Sales Calls", and we are serious. If one of these fuckers enters my lab, they are told immediately that we do not entertain unsolicited sales calls and that if they don't leave immediately, we are going to call security.

  • MitoScientist says:

    I hear ya. But dude, seriously, I miss that show Shasta McNasty.

  • Namnezia says:

    I'm with CPP. I'm thinking of putting up a sign saying that all vendors must come by appointment only, and leaving a bin so they can drop off their "literature". If I'm in the lab when they come I usually ask them to leave.

  • Heavy says:

    Our doors are locked.

  • CK says:

    When I was a student, we had a very needy female vender that came by the lab way too often. If someone spotted her coming down the hall, we would all duck into the darkroom together and put on the light that warns people outside not to open the door.

  • Joe H. says:

    rhinotillexomania -> genitaltillexomania -> rectaltillexomania

    Classic progression.

  • Dr. O says:

    We have the female version of what you speak of (minus the nose-picking), and she really creeps out the guys around here. We're unfortunately in an "open lab" layout, so no good way to keep her out, either. 😐

  • Just say, oh could you pass me the cadmium? It's right there by your elbow...

  • Sean says:

    When do you like to hear from vendors?

    We don't have any reps since they don't seem to add enough value compared their overhead. Value in the sense that the majority of researchers don't really need to be educated about most products. So far it seems sponsoring and attending conferences has the best way to connect.

    • Ding ding ding, you hit it man. I prefer to interact with vendors at conference because its on my own terms. If you have a great product, I'll usually continue the dialogue after the conference. Also I like vendors that try to make appointments, even just for 10 minutes to show off their product. Vendors who will leave product information with me and ask if they can, not toss it down on my desk, will have their stuff get read.

      I think the days of the vendor rep trolling the halls daily are slowly winnowing down as companies look to cut costs. Also if you are showing me your product in relation to another, post your cost versus theirs. I don't know how much 1.5 mL microfuge tube cost off the top of my head.

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