Overheard during job interviews in my lab:
-Lab Member: "Do you have experience in (particular technique)?" Candidate: "No but I enjoy doing (hobby that has nothing to do with business).
-Lab Member: "So what skills from your current position do you think you can bring to our lab and contribute?" Candidate: "Absolutely none!" This may be true if your lab does completely different stuff, but at least come up with something. Damn.
-PI gave job candidate some reprints of important papers from the lab, when asked by a lab member if they would read them, they responded, "If I get job? Maybe." Whaaaaaat? Even if you aren't going to read them, lie to our face and say you will you dummy.
-Candidate: "So you guys don't work that hard right? I don't really like to work that much." Fuck me.