I'm a graduate student so that means I live in a shitty area, actually its not that shitty, it just borders on a shitty area. Its synonymous to living in Long Beach and staring across the street to your neighbors that reside in Compton. And those of us who habit these borderlands of pending gentrification usually have a corner store where you can stop and purchase anything you need: gas, condoms, bath salts, you know the basics to have a good time. But that's not half the fun, no my friends, the best thing about the neighborhood corner store are the people that hang around outside.
These are the cast of characters that loiter the corner store by my apartment:
-Bob from the Biggest Loser: except Bob is bald, 30 pounds heavier, and looks like he just came off a savage three day coke binge
-Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus: he's got the mullet and he's trying to serenade the ladies in the parking lot, he's awesome
-Lil Albino Tupac: white kid that typically does not wear a shirt but sports the bandana knotted on the forehead, almost gets hit by cars while trying to "spit game at bitches" and doesn't understand why the ladies won't "let a playa get some conversation." He is a dead ringer for Jamie Kennedy's character in Malibu's Most Wanted.
- Tunisian Jackie Chan: practices Tae Kwon Do moves in the parking lot while emptying the trash cans and sweeping the parking lot. TJC is usually getting yelled at by his boss who speaks some hybrid language that consists of Armenian, Spanish, Pidgin English, and a conglomeration of virtually every language and dialect's profanities.
So when I step out my car and run in to grab a drink, I'm greeted by the pleasant lyrical stylings of Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus, walk past Bob from the Biggest Loser who looks like he is passed out in his car, wait behind Lil Albino Tupac ranting and bitching, and almost get knocked out by Tunisian Jackie Chan as he works on his spinning back kick while smoking a cigarette and holding a broom. Its dangerous but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Except a nicer place to live.