Archive for the 'Uncategorized' category
With all this talk of Pit Bulls and breed confusion, I have seized upon the opportunity to commission a breed analysis for Genomic RepairDog since he looks like every breed of small dog that we put him up next to. I swabbed his cheek and sent off the cotton swab in the mail and am awaiting his results. Plus I love the fact they are using breed specific SNPs to give you the animal's breed makeup.
If you are interested on which service I am using to do this click here.
So my parents have knives that might be old enough to have been fashioned back in the Bronze Age and they are even duller than I am. So for Father's Day, I've decided to get them a new Chef's knife or set to replace the crap that they currently have in their kitchen. I've been rocking a GLOBAL Knife (chef and boning) for the past few years and love it, especially the fact that they seem to retain their sharpness for longer than any other knife I've ever had. So I'd like to get my folks a nice chef's knife for use in the kitchen, which brand would you recommend. But I'd also like to make it as low maintenance as possible, I don't see Genomic RepairMom and Dad sharpening a knife on a weekly or monthly basis.
"When you want to do research in an exotic location, you sign up to live in a house with a dolphin...when you live in a house with a dolphin you try to set up a system of communication with it...when you communicate with a dolphin you find out it wants to bone you..when the dolphin wants to bone you, you give it hand jobs and trip acid with it..."
Don't give dolphin hand jobs! Get rid of dolphins and switch to a normal job.
when one part of your body is swelled up 2-3X the size of its counterpart. Thank goodness for ice and ibuprofen. And its either true grit or idiocy that keeps me working through the pain in the lab today. Damn, its probably the latter.
I'm a graduate student so that means I live in a shitty area, actually its not that shitty, it just borders on a shitty area. Its synonymous to living in Long Beach and staring across the street to your neighbors that reside in Compton. And those of us who habit these borderlands of pending gentrification usually have a corner store where you can stop and purchase anything you need: gas, condoms, bath salts, you know the basics to have a good time. But that's not half the fun, no my friends, the best thing about the neighborhood corner store are the people that hang around outside.
These are the cast of characters that loiter the corner store by my apartment:
-Bob from the Biggest Loser: except Bob is bald, 30 pounds heavier, and looks like he just came off a savage three day coke binge
-Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus: he's got the mullet and he's trying to serenade the ladies in the parking lot, he's awesome
-Lil Albino Tupac: white kid that typically does not wear a shirt but sports the bandana knotted on the forehead, almost gets hit by cars while trying to "spit game at bitches" and doesn't understand why the ladies won't "let a playa get some conversation." He is a dead ringer for Jamie Kennedy's character in Malibu's Most Wanted.
- Tunisian Jackie Chan: practices Tae Kwon Do moves in the parking lot while emptying the trash cans and sweeping the parking lot. TJC is usually getting yelled at by his boss who speaks some hybrid language that consists of Armenian, Spanish, Pidgin English, and a conglomeration of virtually every language and dialect's profanities.
So when I step out my car and run in to grab a drink, I'm greeted by the pleasant lyrical stylings of Mexican Billy Ray Cyrus, walk past Bob from the Biggest Loser who looks like he is passed out in his car, wait behind Lil Albino Tupac ranting and bitching, and almost get knocked out by Tunisian Jackie Chan as he works on his spinning back kick while smoking a cigarette and holding a broom. Its dangerous but I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.
Except a nicer place to live.
Overheard during job interviews in my lab:
-Lab Member: "Do you have experience in (particular technique)?" Candidate: "No but I enjoy doing (hobby that has nothing to do with business).
-Lab Member: "So what skills from your current position do you think you can bring to our lab and contribute?" Candidate: "Absolutely none!" This may be true if your lab does completely different stuff, but at least come up with something. Damn.
-PI gave job candidate some reprints of important papers from the lab, when asked by a lab member if they would read them, they responded, "If I get job? Maybe." Whaaaaaat? Even if you aren't going to read them, lie to our face and say you will you dummy.
-Candidate: "So you guys don't work that hard right? I don't really like to work that much." Fuck me.
I was talking to a coworker today about the dreaded topic of shopping. She was elaborating to me that she had to take her son shopping for clothes for some event he had and the pushback he was giving on trying on stuff. I remember hating to go shopping with my mom as a kid and having to try on all these damn clothes just because and it took forever and a day.
Now shopping with my dad was awesome. I hold something up and he'd ask, "You like?" And I would give the old man a nod of approval and he would reply, "Good get it and get one in large for me." That would conclude our shopping trip in under 10 minutes including the checkout process and at some point in the future when we went shopping again, you might have laid eyes on my dad and I strolling the mall wearing matching Fila track suits.
If you haven't heard the legendary rant by comedian Bill Burr, you have to. To set the stage for what happened, Burr is the third comedian in a row to be booed by a drunken audience, and Burr seizes the 12 minutes he is allotted on stage to just go off on the city and its residents. Just classic. Videos are separated into parts one and two.