So one of our more senior and lovelorn technicians just swapped phone numbers with a vendor and I think they may be having a first date. To sit there and watch two baby boomers sort of go through the first date proposition jitters was hilarious, I don't think it could have been more awkward. Seriously you two, when you get to the end zone, act like you've been there before. Luckily the vendor was the more aggressive of the two and handed her number over to our timid technician.
Now we have to cajole the wuss into calling her.
Vendors usually fall into two different classes: the tick who is easily removed from the skin and the four foot tapeworm that is so far up my ass that I don't think I will ever get rid of them. Well I guess now it's time to add in a new class of vendor, The Flood. No I don't mean the parasitic species that almost ruined the entire Halo video game franchise or that shitty Jars of Clay song, I mean the vendors that are constantly flooding my inbox.
Listen I know we all get the random emails offering this new product or that fantastic service, but this is different. A few months back I talked to a vendor rep who represents a smaller biotech company because I was looking for a chemical inhibitor to an enzyme of interest to test for sensitivity using a particular assay. The rep said they would email me back with what her company had and damn if she didn't.
Now I really only wanted the chemical inhibitor to test on my specific genetic background but she tried to sell me the following:
-a cell line knocked down for the protein I wanted to inhibit
-purified recombinant protein
-a cell line over expressing the protein
-a completely different assay even though I stated upfront that I already had an assay
Guess what was the one product she didn't email me about? The damn chemical inhibitor! What makes it worse is that she had a back and forth discussion over products and what I might be able to use with a product scientist at the company. And she carbon copied myself AND my PI on all of them.
Now I love to know the inner workings of places but seriously in just an hour my inbox had over 25 email exchanges between the rep and the product scientist. I listed the emails as spam, they kept coming. Listed them as junk and they kept coming. I was thinking of sliding our IT folks some money on the sneak tip to block them at the mail server level if possible.
Then I just broke down and emailed them to stop emailing me and I'll find what I need in their catalog.
Four hours later I got an email saying maybe this assay might be good to try.
I think I'm going to have a rage induced stroke.
So once in a while we have this scuzzy fucking vendor rep that will show up and troll the halls from time to time. This guy is a creepy mcfunster who has this leering gaze that makes all the females in the building tense up and freak out. Hell every time a guy in our lab sees this moosebag, you can tell his asshole is probably involuntarily clenching in discomfort and he scurries off to get away before the vendor sees him. Thanks a fucking lot. I'm tied to the bench doing some shit so that means I've got to stand there while Shasta FuckinMcNasty chats me up.
What makes matters worse is he is picking his nose as he is coming down the hallway and I can see it. He rounds the corner to my bench and I turn to look at him just as he adjusts his dick in his pants. So gross, I'm about to puke. But the worst part is, while he is trying to shoot the shit with me and get me to buy his stuff for which I have no additional need, the dude is digging in his ass. I mean this motherfucker was going to China. I hope he had a permit because homeboy was digging deep and hard, it was so bad he was standing on his tipey toes trying to find some buried treasure.
Thank goodness I had gloves on and didn't have to shake his hand. And if you guys want to kick in some money for therapy that cool, its gonna be expensive to get this visual out of my head.